ღ i ᴡᴏɴᴛ ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴜᴘ O ɴ G ᴏ ɪ ɴ ɢ
by FlyingScones
Summary: Yao just discovered that the rumours are true about his lover, Kiku. Once he discovered this, heartbroken he struggled to get over it. But it seems all the things that surround him, just kept reminding him of his past. He is willing to change himself for his ex-lover. He is willing to do everything just to have him back in his life. He won't give up.
1. Chapter 1: Rumour Has It

Cʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 1: Rᴜᴍᴏᴜʀ Hᴀs Iᴛ

"What is your problem? You've been ignoring me for a week now."

Kiku was facing Yao's back as the other man stood, watching the view from the office window. Yao and Kiku's relationship have been in a rough situation for the past few weeks. It all started in the world conference. Yao had been acting strange after the break. After the world conference, he had been avoiding Kiku's presence.

"Everything's fine, Kiku." Yao replied. His voice was deep and serious, making Kiku cringed.

"Fine? You call this fine? You've been ignoring me, Yao. I don't understand. I thought we both agreed that we won't have any other physical contact except kissing in this relationship. If you can't wait anymore-."

"It's not that!" Yao turned around, eyeing his lover. Kiku just noticed the dark lines under Yao's eyes and his face got paler. "I can wait for decades, Kiku." Yao calmed down.

"Then what's the problem?"

"I just can't believe that you had been cheating all this time, Kiku." Yao turned his back again. He can't stand seeing his lover's face this moment.

"What? Are you crazy? I had been faithful to you, Yao."

"Hah! Faithful? Then explain why you and Arthur have been sucking each other's faces in the world conference? I have seen you two in one of the rooms, Kiku."

Kiku widened his eyes. He saw that? "Tell me. How long, Kiku? How long have you been keeping this secret?"

"Longer than our relationship, Yao."

"So you've been keeping your relationship with Arthur since the beginning? I can't believe it! I've been making a fool out of myself for a year now and you haven't told me?"

Kiku just stayed silent and bowed his head. He heard a shuffling sound and he lifted his head to see Yao standing in front of him. "So the rumours are true. I can forgive you, Kiku. It's not too late to begin a fresh start. Just tell me. Just explain why. Why did you do this to me?" Yao cupped Kiku's face and leaned down for a small kiss. As they parted, Kiku bowed his head down. _"I can't."_

To Yao, that statement is like a go signal for him. It's like heaven gave the sign. Yao cupped Kiku's face again and stared at him for awhile. Yao memorized every part of him because he know, after this, he can't call Kiku his anymore. His shiny hair, the way the bangs cover his beautiful eyes that can captivate and stare right at the person's soul. The way he moves like a swan, dancing gracefully at the pond.

Yao inhaled one more time. "It's time to finally let you go now, huh?" As much as it hurt Yao to say this, he doesn't have any other choices left. He can't love a person who doesn't love him back. Yao leaned for a kiss one more time and left the room.

Kiku just stood there, paralyzed. Did Yao just say that? Had he heard him right? He felt something wet and touched his face. He's crying. Did Yao finally let him go? For once, he cried his heart out alone.

Yao stuffed all his clothes inside his bag, wiping all the strayed tears and the ones that threatened to escape his eyes. Once he's done, he left Kiku's house, glancing to it one last time and turning around. And like the heaven also mourned, it rained. Soaked to the bone, Yao kept walking away from the past and into the future that his soul is about to step in.

_"I don't hate you, but I lost all the reasons to love you." _


	2. Chapter 2:Not Over You: Still Loving You

Cʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 2: Nᴏᴛ Oᴠᴇʀ Yᴏᴜ : Sᴛɪʟʟ Lᴏᴠɪɴɢ Yᴏᴜ

Yao had been stressed for a month now. He won't go to world meeting unless threatened to, and drinking had been a habit for him. His face had gotten paler and dark lines are visible under his eyes. Which caused of Elizaveta's worrying.

Riiinnnggg!

Yao struggled to lift himself up from the couch to get his phone. Damn hangovers. But hell, it's worth it. "Hello?" his voice was husky, proving he just got up from sleep.

"Where are you!? The meeting is about to start!" He glanced at his watch. Oh shit. He's going to be late. And being late means dealing with Elizaveta's frying pan. He fished for something to wear inside his closet. Brown pants and black button down shirt. He got it on and hurried to his kitchen.

Toaster on and hot coffee on the table. He still got 40 minutes for breakfast. Ding! Finally! After eating his breakfast, he started the car and drove for another 20 minutes to his destination.

Yao ran towards the last room of the building, hoping to God that he wasn't late. He got a large scar on his back and he doesn't want another especially from Elizaveta. He stopped in front of the large door and stood for minutes. After being snapped from reality, he shakily turned the knob and opened the doors. He closed his eyes, ready for a yell but what he got was silence. He opened his eyes and almost had a heart attack.

The meeting hadn't started yet. He was early. It was just a false alarm. Damn Elizaveta.

He scanned the room. Some countries are already here. Sleeping Greece, which he hated because he knew Greece had a crush on his ex-lover, Finland with an awkward look on his face, beside him was Sweden, pushing Denmark's face away from his, Norway with a dark aura surrounding him, Iceland with his usual poker face, Austria sitting and drinking his tea and lastly Hungary smirking to him with a frying pan in her hands. Yao shivered.

He took a seat beside Elizaveta and started a conversation.

"Nice going, Elizaveta. You almost gave me a heart attack." Yao sighed. He leaned on his chair and stared up the ceiling. His head was still pounding from hangover and for the same cracked thoughts swimming inside his head.

"Oh shush it. You should thank me for saving your ass from Germany's yelling." Elizaveta smiled at him. Yao turned his attention to her. "You got a point."

The early countries waited for hours before the actual meeting started. Yao was bored out of his mind. America had been talking nonsense again, wasting half of the countries' time. He rested his head on the table and drifted away from the world. Beside him was Lithuania.

Toris kept glancing at his neighbor. He too, like Elizaveta, had been worrying about his friend's life. The usual happy-go-lucky China had been down to earth these past few weeks. He can't stand watching his friend like this. He glanced again at him and smiled as he caught him glancing at Japan. He still loved the country dearly. Japan is so lucky, Toris thought. He patted Yao's shoulder, which made him glance at him. "Are you okay, Yao?" Toris sighed as Yao smiled at him and nodded. Even though Yao kept convincing the countries that he's okay, they all know how hard it is for Yao to be in a situation like this.

One day, you'll find happiness, Yao. Toris glanced again and smiled before returning his attention to the person speaking.

Yao had been so caught up with the thoughts inside his mind that he hadn't realized that he fell asleep. He woke up with someone patting his shoulder. Elizaveta. He sat up straight and ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry I fell asleep. I didn't realize." Yao closed and opened his eyes. "It's okay. Since the meeting's done, want to grab some coffee?" Yao nodded and stood up.

Yao regretted his decision. Here they were, sitting inside a café, while he kept on glancing at Arthur and Kiku at the other table. Anger built up inside his stomach at the sight of the two. Elizaveta noticed Yao balling his fist and gulped. "Yao? Yao?" Yao glanced at him and Elizaveta could see the tension inside his eyes. "Calm down, Yao. We're in a café for Austria's sake. Don't let the anger get the best out of you." Elizaveta whispered as she sipped her coffee. She sighed in relief as she can't feel the dark aura surrounding Yao's body anymore.

"You still love him, don't you?"

Yao widened his eyes and stared at the person beside him. She wasn't teasing and for once, she was sincere.

"Yes. I still do." Elizaveta's eyes softened as she heard those words. It was plain and simple but she can feel his words. He doesn't regret saying those things. She can feel many emotions from those words. Love. Yao still loves Kiku.

"I miss having someone that cares about what I did yesterday, what I'm doing right now, and what I'm going to do tomorrow," Yao bowed down. "Life is so unpredictable. It can bring you so much joy and yet at the same time cause so much pain."

He glanced again at the two. Kiku was laughing by some jokes, Arthur said. He seem so happy without me. He never laugh like that when he's with me.

Elizaveta stared at scene in front of her. Yao. She glanced at the man beside her. She can tell he's crying.

_"Yao. Your pain may be the reason for someone's laugh, but your laugh must never be the reason for somebody's pain."_


	3. Chapter 3: Secrets:The Other Side Of Him

Alfred was walking on the way to his and Arthur's house. He had a tiring day and just wanted to sleep. He knew the other countries were tired from his nonsense babbling and he knew that some countries don't like him but still hang out with him, knowing not to mess with him. Being a good actor can help you in such situations as this. No one broke his mask before and he can go on like that for another few decades.

No one knew about the other side of Alfred. All of the nations have a side of them that no one knows except themselves. Some happy nations such as Alfred have a sad side of them that only comes out when they're alone. Some neutral nations just want to forget their broken past.

Alfred entered the house and sat on a nearby couch. "I'm home." Silence. Just as he expected. Arthur and Alfred had been avoiding each other but it's like Arthur is avoiding Alfred. Alfred sighed. He had been alone inside his house since the relationship of Arthur and Kiku began. They hardly ever speak anymore. Being alone is the last thing Alfred wanted to feel. A note was left on the table and it read : Won't be home till midnight. Have a date with Kiku.

Alfred balled the paper and threw it on the nearby trashcan. He took off his glasses and closed his eyes. For the first time in his life, he let go of all the bottled feelings inside his soul and let it flow by crying. He opened his eyes again and it fell on an old picture on the small table in front of him. It was him and Arthur on the field, smiling. He was a kid and they were on the field where Arthur first saw and battled for him against Francis.

He reached for it and hugged the picture like its Arthur. He missed the old times. A sob escaped his mouth, followed by shattered tears. Arthur didn't know how much it hurt Alfred. He regretted the war and every night, he would wake up from a cold nightmare.

"Arthur. We may not be able to see each other when we want, or talk as often as we like, but my love is always there. You just have to notice it. Notice how much I miss you. I miss you, big brother."

Arthur had been so busy with his relationship that didn't know how much it hurt Alfred. In the morning, he would wake up without Arthur burning the kitchen, without his company in one of the café they used to go in lunch, the field they used to sleep in whenever they have a free time and inside the warm house, cuddling on a cold night.

Alfred cried that night, muttering apologies no one would hear, comforting himself knowing no one would come to the rescue for him. Even a hero like him needs someone like normal people do. It's just that half of the people in this world are blind or just some of them are pretending not to notice.

_"Sometimes you miss someone so much that you forget you are better without them."_


	4. Chapter 4: Tensions: Lost And Found

Arthur can't hold his emotions anymore. He had seen and noticed the way Yao looked at Kiku. _He still loves Kiku, _he thought. Jealousy darkened his visions and it made him plan something out of his own control. He approached the Chinese man who is currently talking to Elizaveta.

"Mind if I steal Yao for a moment?" Arthur smiled. The two was discussing about something about the meeting that was held. "No, we're finished anyways. See you later, Yao." Elizaveta smiled. She bid the two goodbye and left the two man alone.

"What do you want?" Yao turned to him after Elizaveta disappeared. "Why don't we talk more privately? I rented a boat." Arthur offered. The other man stared at him suspiciously before nodding.

The way to the port was long for the two nations. They were surrounded by an awkward blanket, covering both of them. 20 long minutes passed by and the two actually made it to their destination. The two hopped on the rented boat and Arthur started it.

While the boat was sailing, the two kept a long good distance away from each other. Yao sat on a chair while staring at the peaceful view while Arthur drove them to the open sea. Yao gripped the table in front of him when the boat suddenly came to a halt. He looked at Arthur who was approaching him. Yao stood and waited for the other man to start a conversation.

"What do you want, Arthur." Yao started when the other man didn't say anything. Arthur closed his eyes and sighed. He doesn't want to do this but the jealousy blinded him. Yao arched an eyebrow at the man in front of him. "You know, I still have better things to do than to play dumb with you. Why don't you-,"

"You still love him." Arthur glared dangerously at the Chinese man. "What? You drove us all the way here for that? Psh. You're wasting your time, Arthur."

"Tell me. Why do you still love him? After what he did to you, you still love him?" The two gazed at each other before Yao sighed.

"It's none of your business." Yao started walking away from him but stopped on his tracks as Arthur spoke again.

"It really hurts when you expected so much more from the person you once loved so much, huh?," Arthur smirked as Yao balled his fist. "Give up, Yao. There's no point in holding onto someone that has already let you go."

Silence.

"Lesson without pain is meaningless, but once you've withstood and overcome it, you will gain a heart that is stronger than everything else." Yao replied, still not facing the other nation. This made Arthur mad_. He's playing smart with me_, he thought.

"There is always one person in a relationship who loves more, cares more, cries more, gets hurt most and even forgives more. And that's you, Yao," Arthur stated dangerously. "You're holding onto a dream that won't come true. You wanting Kiku to want you the way you want him. Please, don't make me laugh. You two are done with each other."

"Don't envy my smile, it took a lot of tears to earn it and don't envy my love, it took a lot of pain to grow it." Yao started walking again but was pulled back by Arthur. Arthur turned the other man around so Yao was facing him and punched him on the jaw. Yao hadn't expected that. The punch was hard and made his vision blurry. His world was spinning and he stumbled backwards, his back met the railings that kept him and sea away.

His visions blurred and he can't think straight. He shook his head, hoping the pain to go away. He gripped the railings to make himself steady. He looked up and he was suddenly surrounded by darkness. Yao fell off the boat and into the water.

Arthur widened his eyes. He didn't expect the scene that flashed before his eyes. He ran towards the spot where Yao was standing and looked at the water. He searched the other nation but all he got was nothing. _Oh God. I killed Yao_, he thought. "Yao! Yao!" he yelled but got no response.

Arthur started panicking. He killed Yao. What if Kiku knows? He gripped his hair. _Just keep it a secret and you'll be fine_. A voice offered inside his head. _Don't tell anyone and your life will be alright._ Arthur plopped down and gripped the railings. _Just tell them that Yao decided to take a vacation._

"Stop! Stop it!" Arthur hissed. _And he won't be back forever. _The voice laughed madly inside his head.

_Jealousy is a negative feeling which is similar to envy. You feel jealous of someone when he or she possesses something that you don't have.  
__

ɴᴏᴛ ᴇɴᴏᴜɢʜ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴄʜɪɴᴀ

ɪ ᴍᴇᴀɴ

ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴏɴ

ʜᴇ ɪs ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇғɪɴɪᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏғ

sᴇxʏ

ɢᴇᴛ ɪᴛ ᴛᴏɢᴇᴛʜᴇʀ ɢᴜʏs

ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴍɪssɪɴɢ ᴏᴜᴛ ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴᴛ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴛʜɪs ᴍᴀɴ.

Sᴏ, ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ? I ʜᴀᴠᴇ sᴏᴍᴇ sᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇ ᴄʟɪғғʜᴀɴɢᴇʀ ғᴇᴛɪsʜ. Cᴏᴍᴍᴇɴᴛ, Lɪᴋᴇ ᴀɴᴅ Fᴏʟʟᴏᴡ ғᴏʀ ᴍᴏʀᴇ Cʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀs! Aɴᴅ ᴀᴅᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴏɴ Fᴀᴄᴇʙᴏᴏᴋ : Bʜᴀɪɪ Gᴇᴇ. I ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ɴᴇᴇᴅ sᴏᴍᴇ ғʀɪᴇɴᴅs. :)


	5. Chapter 5: Where Are You Now:Missing You

Elizaveta phased back and forth inside the meeting room. All the countries have been worried sick about Yao. The man hadn't replied to any of their calls and hadn't attended any meetings for the past weeks. They already visited Yao's house, but the old man wasn't there. The only question that was swimming on their mind was: Where was Yao?

The large doors were slammed hard as Toris came running toward the frowning nations. They ran a search and rescue operation for Yao and whoever finds the nation, will be rewarded. Mei, Im Yong Soo, Kaoru and especially Kiku haven't slept for their brother's sake. The allies, axis and others decided to set aside all the hatred for once and help their fellow nations. Even though Yao's disappearance was hard for everyone, it had a good side. The broken relationships have been fixed, the distanced families were reunited and the nations gave peace to the world.

"Anything new, Toris?" Ludwig asked as he stretched his back and sipped his coffee. Toris sadly shook his head. "All are the same. Just fake people calling and telling they have found Yao." "Well we can't give up." Elizaveta stated firmly. "Trust me. We're trying, Elizaveta. We're trying hard. Don't worry, we'll find your friend soon enough." Roderich smiled at her and rubbed her back, comforting the stressed nation. Kiku came with a tray full of cups of coffee and Feliciano with cookies. They handed it to every nation.

Alfred rested his head on the table. Just a week ago, before Yao disappeared, he saw Yao and Arthur talking about something. He just set it aside, knowing it was none of his business. But later that day, Arthur came home without a word. Alfred just shrugged it off, he and Arthur have never have a real conversation since the relationship of Kiku and Arthur took place. But after studying Arthur's moves for the past few days, Alfred noticed Arthur acting strange. He is jumpy and he always talk by himself, muttering some strange words.

Alfred glanced at Arthur across the table. He was sweating and he can't sit still. _What the heck is wrong with him_, Alfred raised a brow. "Are you okay, Arthur?" he asked a bit loud, making the nations turn their attention to the two. Arthur jumped a bit high and Ludwig eyed him suspiciously. Kiku also noticed it.

"I-I'm fine. N-no need t-to worry." He was stuttering. Alfred knew something was wrong so he pushed the topic a bit too far. The other nations listened intently to the conversation and to the show Alfred was putting. "Are you sure?" Arthur nodded.

"Say, where did you and Yao went last week? I've seen you two talking about something before he disappeared." Arthur widened his eyes and stuttered. Ivan's dark aura started surrounding him. "I-I, we, we grabbed some coffee and talked about the meeting. After, w-we p-parted ways. I didn't saw him after that." "But I saw you two at the port." Ivan interrupted. "I went fishing that time and I saw you two climbing to your boat."

The room was covered with tension. Arthur began sweating and he felt he was being sandwiched by two walls. Suddenly, Kaoru stood up, knocking his chair in the process. Kiku widened his eyes as his brother approached the British knight and grabbed him by the collar. "You. You killed my brother. You killed, Yao." "Now, mon ami, you can't say that if you have no proof." "Shut up, frog. Are you people blind? I've been studying his moves for the past few days. He is guilty."

Kiku stood up and stared at Arthur. Their eyes met. "Is it true?" Arthur bowed his head down in shame. The nations gasped as he nodded. Kaoru's fist met Arthur's jaw, and the man fell off of his chair. Arthur widened his eyes. He's in the same situation when he punched Yao. Gilbert and Mathias grabbed Kaoru's arms, holding the nation.

"Calm down, brother." Im Yong Soo approached his brother and patted his back. "Yao won't be happy about what you did if he's here." "Well he is not here! That bastard is the reason why he isn't here!" Alfred ran towards Arthur and helped him. "Me? I'm not the only one who is the reason of Yao's disappearance. You thought you're not of the reason why he left, huh Kaoru?," Arthur took a seat and the room fell silent. Kaoru widened his eyes and just stood there, in the same spot.

"He was your brother. The one who raised you, Im Yong Soo, Mei and Kiku. But you left him. You left the old man alone." Kaoru glared and balled his fist, ready to attack, but Kiku beat him to the punch. Kiku approached the man and slapped him. Arthur widened his eyes and bowed down. "We're over."

Kiku left the room, followed by his brothers, Mei and Elizaveta. "I hope you're satisfied, Arthur. Let's go, Feliks." Toris and Feliks left the room, followed by the others.

Kiku ran towards Yao's house. He opened the gates and headed for the garden, where a sakura tree firmly stood. They planted this tree when all of them were just a child. The tree holds many memories. He fell to his knees and cried. After a while, a hand rested on his shoulder. He looked up and saw Kaoru staring at the same tree. Im Yong Soo sat beside him and smiled. Mei hugged Kiku from behind.  
Kiku cried again but this time, he was sure it was a river of thankful tears. He is thanking Yao silently inside his head for this moment.

_I wish I could re-live a lot of moments in my life, moments where I was just . . . happy._


	6. Chapter 6: Changes: Finally Found You

After the beans have been spilled, everything went back to normal, but that didn't stop them from finding the lost nation. Arthur was already forgiven yet the bitter atmosphere between Kaoru and him didn't change. Alfred took care of him and Arthur soon realized he loved the fellow nation. They've been dating for the past days and everything seems great.

One week later, a stranger sent a picture to Toris. Eyes widened, mouth hanged open, he hurriedly called Ludwig and told him to start a meeting as soon as possible. The other nations were startled and complied at once.

All the nations were seated at the conference room, waiting for Toris to spill out the beans. Kiku eyed Toris and Ludwig. He noticed Ludwig's eyes widened at whatever he's looking on Toris' phone. Then he nodded and coughed. The nations turned to him. "Good morning. I'm sorry for disturbing your peaceful sleeping." "Yeah right." Francis murmured. Arthur shot a look at Francis and Ludwig coughed again. "Let's get straight to the point. Someone sent Toris a picture this morning. We're both alarmed because the person printed on the picture is . . . Yao." The countries gasped. "Except," Toris interrupted. "His hair was cut short and he had several bruises on his face." "Can we see it?" Kiku asked. Toris glanced at Ludwig and he nodded. Toris nodded and he handed his phone at Kiku.

The nations shuffled toward Kiku and gasped. It was indeed Yao. Only a tad different. His hair was short in the same style as Alfred's but messier, like he just got up from sleep. In the picture, Yao was half-sitting on the hospital bed, looking outside the window. His left hand had a bandage and also his head. The bruise on his jaw was large and very visible from the picture. His right eyebrow was slashed.

"My men are searching for the sender." Ludwig stated. "All we have to do now is to wait."

And thus they waited.

The room was silent, all of the nations lost in their own thoughts. They all jumped as the door slammed open and a dark haired German appeared. He stated the words all of the nations were waiting for.

_"We found him."_


End file.
